Is it Hot in Here?

[FAKE SUMMARY ALERT!]

Teresa Santa Maria Ignacio Sandoval has known since she was a little girl that she was meant to serve the church. Teresa is loved by one and all, especially by the woodland creatures who follow her around the village and assist her with her everyday chores. Some say she is blessed by the Mother Herself, for when she smiles, her teeth are near blinding in their whiteness,  and the flowers in the fields bow before her, humbled by her beauty, as she walks by every morning, humming “Boy from Ipanema.” Now a novitiate in a strict Unitarian Universalist convent at the feet of the Pyrenees on the Iberian Peninsula—no internet, no electricity, no running water quelle horreur!— Teresa, who was recently freed from a two-year self-imposed vow of silence and solitary confinement, finds herself…wanting to find herself for the first time in her life! The very understanding Mother Superior, who has a really cool blue mohawk under her wimple, tells her that if she really wants to be a true bride of Christ…opher Robin, then she must first experience the world. If, after her Rumspringa, she still wants to return to the church, it’s totally cool with the Mother Superior, and Teresa can take her vows.

…She never expected to meet wickedness face-to-face

Azrael is tired of being Lucien’s errand boy. Ever since Luc won that stupid bet and Azrael had to agree to be his slave for a thousand years, his childhood friend has been ordering him to perform tasks that border on Sacrilege (but never quite cross the line) and are often humiliating. He deserves this punishment, of course, for what kind of idiot wagers with the Devil? Thankfully, Luc had written in an escape clause that would free Azrael if its terms are satisfied: He must bring a virgin who is a True Believer to Luc. Luc had to resort to this because he hasn’t had any luck with Tinder. He figures he should stop posing as a ridiculously handsome billionaire with a tragic past and a wounded heart online because that just brings in the crazies. Unbeknownst to Azrael, Luc has no nefarious plans for the sacrificial virgin. Luc has just been really lonely. It’s not fun kicking back and watching Netflix with the acolytes because they would just agree with whatever he says. He wants someone to be able to look him in the eye after watching every single episode of “Iron Fist” and say to him, “That sucked balls and I don’t care what you think.” It just hasn’t been the same since Astaroth fell in love with that psychotic seraphim and ran away with him.

He just wanted to escape

Azrael wants a break from his job of taking the souls of dead people—thankfully, he has been able to crowdsource that to this really awesome company he found on Angie’s List—and being Luc’s errand/house boy. When he visits his favorite spot in the mountains of the Iberian Peninsula and finds a young woman about to be gang-mauled by a pack of wolves, his first impulse is to help her, but instead, she surprises him when she begins to speak softly to the wolves until they stop snarling. One by one, the wolves lay down with their heads on their front paws. Azrael is astounded. Not only is this maiden very, very beautiful, but also capable of taking care of herself and perhaps possesses a special power that enables her to talk to animals. Once the wolves are settled, she whirls around to face him, wielding a tree branch as a weapon. She looks into his eyes and her fierce expression softens as she gets trapped in his powerful gaze: he is able to read her thoughts now. She is a nun. She is a virgin.

She is soooo going with him to Luc’s pad!

Until Azrael discovers that Teresa is a bigger Scrabble freak than he is. Every time they play, Azrael finds himself falling for the beautiful novitiate more and more. Could he truly give her up to the Prince of Darkness when she is the only one who has brought light to his existence in ten thousand years?

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3 thoughts on “Is it Hot in Here?

  1. Emma

    :O You're back. I am an anonymous reader of your blog lol. I like your reviews, I think I share your sense of humor and also so many of your opinions haha. However, I am not an english speaker and my wording can be very off so I am sorry if I hurt your eyes lol.

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